you either change reality by working harder,
or you change your expectation and mindset by:
1.control thoughts through meditation (push away negative thoughts)
Funny that it's sometimes actually pride that causes us to give up and not try.
"By taking me to coffee, he had shown me he valued me as a human being, independent of my academic record. And having my worthiness separated from my performance gave me great freedom! I could truly enjoy learning again. Whether I succeeded or failed would not affect my worthiness as a human being. Because even if I failed, I knew: I am still worth having coffee with!"